Baptism
I was
baptized approximately two years before finishing the
college because I suddenly wanted to. I repeat, I did
not know almost anything about Christianity even after
my History of Russian Ancient Art course. I have no idea
how it is possible to teach Christian art without
talking about the subject of that art but our lecture
managed somehow (in another room the lecturer of history
made students study Lenin’s works: the atmosphere was
odd). Why then I suddenly told my mother that I want to
be baptized, I do not know. It was the early summer; we
bought the long night dress, white with tiny blue dots,
and the aluminum cross for a few kopecks. During
Perestroika many would be baptized possessing as little
knowledge about Christianity as I did. There was a big
crowd before the village church (four kilometers from
our dacha and three and a half from the Cosmonauts
Village, the church in which my father was also baptized
I think – he was dead long before my baptism; however I
did not think of that coincidence that day). Several
priests were preparing for the mass-baptism, a younger
one addressed us with a hopeless intonation “What do you
know about Jesus Christ? – Does anyone know the Creed?”
There was a dead silence, he dropped his arms down in a
gesture of resignation and said “Well, God help us, come
in”. The crowd (and I) walked in.
There were a few babies among us; the majority was the
adults from my age to fifty-something. Of course we were
baptized with water poured upon us from tin baskets, not
with full immersion – there was no place to immerse
adults in that village church. After the baptism I asked
an old priest to give me Holy Communion: not that I knew
what I was asking for but I heard that I had to, and I
fasted for that. The priest was tired and brought it to
me without enthusiasm. I partook the Body and Blood and
felt nothing.
Nothing changed – I did not change. I continued reading
my books on philosophy and Eastern religions and in a
few years became a Buddhist. I even told my
acquaintance, a newly converted Orthodox with long blond
braids and floor length skirt, that, “I regret I was
baptized”.
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